therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
