he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
