On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
