I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
worst night to have a conscience
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
