we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
