He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it hurts more in the daytime
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
