There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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