dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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