My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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