i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dignity is for republicans.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
