I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
