is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
