yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
