Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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