I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
