Whod you bang
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
