You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
