I'm gonna have a badass scar
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
