Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
