Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
