Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
