The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
