Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
