My underwear smells like fireworks.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
