Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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