Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
