I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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