I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
