Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
