I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
