Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
