just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
