Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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