I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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