whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
