last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
