Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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