just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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