Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
