whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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