Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
