it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
