Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
