I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
