Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
