i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
