dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm bleeding and have questions
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
