i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
