So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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