"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
