So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
