wakey wakey hands off snakey
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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