spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
